Why Trust IS Worth It
by Elizabeth Lacey • 17 Mar 2023
In this touching display, Anya and Gael take viewers to the heart of “why trust is worth it.” The video teaches more about trust and broken trust in 3 minutes than a bookstore on relationship issues could. I’ve read lots of good relationship books but none that conveyed “why trust is worth it” so succinctly.
Many people say they have “trust issues”. Each person describes their “issue with trust” with a slightly different spin, but all are based in fear. Fear of similar heart ache or worse heartache, disappointment, embarrassment, abandonment and betrayal. Trust issues often lead to confusing arguments in relationships with the “untrustworthy one” trying to prove they are trust worthy. It is a very painful experience for both partners.
I updated and shared this today, because I believe that “growing trust” is more important today than it ever has been. Not only trust within ourselves and in our relationships but also in this "post pandemic" world.
This video clearly illustrates the responsibility we all have to “grow trust” within ourselves. And to know that we can trust ourselves to do what is best when someone continues to break or betray our trust.
Yes, it is helpful when a person that broke your trust shows through their actions that they are “trustworthy” BUT it is only helpful if the one who isn't able to trust, CAN allow the trustworthy behaviour to grow inside, and change the pattern of “preparing to be disappointed” as mentioned in the video.
These are very challenging behaviours for both partners and incredibly vulnerable too. Cultivate “trust” within yourself is a wonderful way to open up to the possibility of trusting your partner again. Making space for the vulnerability that goes along with it and managing the fear that is there too takes courage and sometimes the help of a trust therapist or other helper.
Anya says “I almost imagine trust as these invisible hands that we stretch out into the world looking for someone to hold onto as we walk into the unknown future.”
I wonder what would happen if you extended yourself into your relationship, waiting for your partner to hold onto you as you walk into the unknown future together? And what if in doing this you actually believed that your partner would hold onto you?
I wonder and I hope you will wonder too - even if all you do is wonder in the beginning. Let’s face it, when trust has been broken it is hard to be vulnerable, to risk doing something different. Wondering is a private thing to do and it is a good place to start.
If you find this video and article helpful in any way, please share it with those closest to you. Especially the one that broke your trust. And let the video speak for itself. Maybe you could wonder what is possible for your relationship together?
Elizabeth Lacey MSW RSW
London ON Canada N6K 3N5